exam phobia - hate it =(

"There is nothing worse than, after all your hard study, you walk into your exam and your mind goes blank. Your nerves and anxiety get the better of you and your brain simply stops working properly!

This is a well-known phenomenon in psychology - known as state-dependant memory. The state you are in determines what you can remember. If you are in a very different state to when you learned, it is hard to recall things.If you are very anxious, your brain is simply in the wrong state for thinking! "

sounds a bit like my case just that my mind does not go blank? still have some irrelevant and useless points stuck up there.

Econs paper 2 was quite an easy paper, i would say, but i have just no idea as to how i could have fumbled. Usually, i would think the paper(eg. chinese Spm *for me*) was difficult and yes, my results will turn out to be super bad. But, this time, i found the paper easy and yet my brain was not functioning well that i rushed through everything = made careless mistakes?(not so much.) + not writing ans + not seeing the obvious points that they give. My data response was hell bad although the questions were easy.

i've never felt so sad for any paper in my life before. Every time i see my econs file, i will never stop wondering why did i write that kind of answer. it's like low grade answers that i usually do not write. it always happen and as my mom said, i have the tendency to perform well in mock/trial exams, making everyone feel there's a high possibility of getting an A, then after coming form the exam, it's NEVER an A. is this call exam phobia? you do opposite of what u usually do? i rmb telling myself before exam to separate the time for section 1 (45 mins) section 2(45 mins), but when i go into the exam, it was section 1 (30 mins) and section 2(1 hour). i was practically rushing data response when their weightage is the same.

i feel so sad that i disappoint my teachers, who i think had faith in me getting an A , my parents who also thought that physics was the only worry and worse of all, i disappointed myself. i really hated myself for being like this. n now i m really afraid of doing the same to other exams. After econs was statistics. usually, i would come out from statistic feeling normal or happy *cos it's a maths paper*, this time i felt almost like shit. i saw the first question and i was like wth. tried to do std dev for about 5 mins, gave up and started to feel really scared, continue doing 2,3,4 which i later have no confidence in any of the ans anymore, came question 5 which was like ... The first time i saw it, the first time i did, i got a probability >1 and in my heart, i thought to myself that i m in deep shit. the next ques was histogram, i never liked histogram but lucky thing i knew how to draw. when they asked to calculate the mean and std dev. it suddenly hit me, how to count midpoint? i used my hands to find the midpoint. how pathetic was that. i just do not trust myself. *cos in a state that makes mistakes easily* i have no confidence in any of my ans, all of them felt wrong at the ed of the exam. until i discuss some with my friends. i felt relieved. but still lost 3 m already.

If you are not an A material,don't force yourself to be one. i know i m not an A student but seriously, i studied real hard for econs in hope of getting a A, at least above 80% and this just had to happen. No one in the exam hall can feel the disappointment i feel in myself. When i saw my econs teacher and we went through the paper, my teacher asked me what happen to you Elaine!?!? and i was like i dunno. =(

i guess the worst case scenario is an ABB for AS, which is really bad. i really hate it. but what can i do now? i still have 3 papers more and if i go on feeling like this, i will make my econs and physics from B to C. it's time to get over it and stand again. 1 more week!

11:47 PM ·