not being determined and need some kicking

what do i want honestly, is to freaking kick my big fat ass for not being "exam smart" and not having the determination. ok i have some determination but prob need more if i really want to get into a good Uni.

Exam smart, according to my mom and i sort of agree, means learning how to think intelligently to try to make full use of the exam time to score YOUR maximun mark and not just rush into panic zone when u see that time's running out, and freak out and the mind goes blank temporarily. i know that not studying in depth is one problem that i m facing currently and i memorize instead or fully understanding the concept. So, when the questions come out in a different way, i often just go like huh???? *hand brushes the hair* squeezing brain juices out. Sometimes i wonder why people study so hard to get a degree, start working, get in love, get married and the if you are lucky, pass away peacefully and satisfied. it's just so cliched.

i'd love to be different and do different things at times. but there's nothing now. Being a student, i just wake up, go to college, lunch, classes ends at 4. 30, jam all the way home, sleep, dinner, watch tv, homework/study, go to bed and tmr, everything just repeats.

is this life? i sort of guessed it is. maybe things will change a little if i m able to go to london uni next year. i m just living in this pampered world right now and taking advantage of it. sometimes i will just snap out of it and realize the comfort i am in and really, honestly appreciate that everyone around me is doing well and is happy, or at least i think they are...


Exams. So what? Scoring straight As? So what? not scoring straight A's means you are either stupid or playing a fool and not trying hard enough? A lot of people have that wrong idea in their heads. but it's the society's expectations nowadays. Someone once said, you have no problem one la, everyone is like getting straight 3 As...i just smiled back. the increasing number of straight As students are rising so fast that some people think that the standard's becoming lower. i cannot say even i sometimes think so, After doing past years question, i think the standard was high, then it's dropping and now rising "slowly?" once again.

Whats the point in thinking about all these? 0 = no point. i just know i still have one month left and there is definitely no time to waste. if i want it, i should freaking go for it right! DO not ever think about doing it LATER, ELAINE TEE! BUCK UP MAN!

i should really go to bed.. couldn't sleep the night before last and yesterday's afternoon nap. quite tired. i spent so much today =( where's the girl who was so giam sap? the thrifty value, where r you?

9:44 AM ·